The Sound of Silence

It's deafening. We've all been on the receiving end of it. After the ringing in your ears from the loud music subsides, when friends and lovers are away from their phones doing whatever they do when you aren't there, when the only thing you have is the sound of your own thoughts, that's when it settles in: the sound of absolute silence. It can be unnerving. It can also be the best time reflect on where you are and where you'd like to be.

Today, I'm taking time for just such quiet reflection. I know I've been self-medicating in a lot of magnificent ways. And the highs are oh so high (check out my post on the Love Drug), but the lows....do they have to be low? Or can it be time for me to put on my old faded jeans, turn off my phone, play songs only I like, and rub my dog's belly while I reflect on what a fabulous person I am, just little ole me?

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. Today, I am alone. But I like my own company just fine. How do I know this? I know because in the past, when I wasn't enough all by myself, I needed noise. Lots and lots of noise. Binging on Netflix, texting or chatting with someone, ANYONE who was available, playing Candy Crush until I fell asleep, phone sticking to my cheek because I'd once again had one too many glasses of wine. IKR?! Very sad.

Today for the first time in ages, I have nowhere to go. No one to talk to. No one demanding my attention and no one from whom I am demanding attention. And instead of voices in my head, I have one voice. Singular and clear. It's been whispering for a while now. I've been ignoring it to a certain extent. I mean every time I listen to it I get my spirit crushed to be sure. But that was when I was obeying it for the wrong reasons. Now it speaks to me plainly. Just one word, one word that gets my heart racing and my blood pumping more than any man ever could and ever will.




Yes, inner Cindy. I hear you. I know what you want and I know what you need. It's time to start writing again. And more than just this blog. And not for other people. Not what will publish or sell, but what my heart tells me to write. And this time, I'm not afraid of the silence and peace that comes after all the words are on the page. This time, I will embrace it.

Namaste,
Cindy