Seeing yourself through someone else's eyes is daunting and I always consider what I am saying before I ever base a character or use a real life event as the basis for a story or article. What nerves will I touch? Was this a private moment not to be shared? Will others recognize about whom I write and will this cause problems for them either personally or professionally? But first and foremost, I always ask permission before using personal information in my writing.
As for the latest case of open laptop, insert foot, I never saw this friend's hurt coming. I'd asked permission. I'd explained exactly what I would be writing about and was given a whole-hearted thumbs up. Only caveat: they had to be able to read the finished problem. Por supuesto!
The fly in the ointment came when they shared the article with someone close. A bit of party foul, but not being a writer they're to our etiquette. Not to mention, I'd forgotten an info sharing situation. Big oops on my part. I wrote the piece for a very specific audience and their boo was not on that list. But since I hadn't spelled out FYEO, I couldn't get upset about it.
So, writers, how much responsibility do we bear as observers and chroniclers of the world we live in? I know readers do not have a right to all the secrets, thoughts, and feelings we collect, but it's those same gritty details that take a good piece to great. How much do you worry about using real life? Have you ever offended someone by your portrayal of them? And if so, how did you fix it, if indeed you were able to fix it?
Fortunately for me the drama I caused calmed down pretty quickly. Sorry, Batman!
Cheers,
Cindy
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