Like a what???

As a writer of erotic romance, I spend a lot of time making sure a sex scene sounds (and looks and smells and tastes and feels) GOOD. It's probably unhealthy how much I think about and analyze what's sexy. But this morning a friend let me know that my diligence has paid off. At least for this year.

"You'll be glad to know," he said, "that none of your sex scenes were nominated for the Literary Review Bad Sex Award."

"The what?" I asked.

"Bad Sex Award. Rowan Somerville won this year."

Curiosity piqued, I ran to my laptop and discovered this http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/badsex.html. And I have to say, I agree with the commitee's choice. In his novel, The Shape of Her, Somerville wrote, "...like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her.”* Now, in Somerville's defense, this line came from a sex scene that was NOT intended to be sexy. The description refers to two people who are dysfunctional and having a rough time of it. That being said, the simile IS a wee bit over the top. First of all--as evidenced by the picture above--pinning a butterfly is a pretty delicate activity which doesn't seem to be Somerville's intention judging from, "...screwed himself into her." Also, I can only imagine that working the word "lepidopterist" into a sex scene was a dare issued by a fellow writer. Seems like he's trying too hard. Not a criticism, we've all been there (though I'm pretty sure my editor would smack me on the knuckles with a ruler if this phrase came across her desk, lol). Perhaps Somerville's editor deserves the award for letting that sentence fly. Anyhoo, hats off to Rowan Somerville for accepting the award with good humor by stating, "“There is nothing more English than bad sex, so on behalf of the entire nation I would like to thank you.”*


Cheers, Rowan! Keep on keeping on ;D


*quoted from quoted from http://hypervocal.com/news/2010/bad-sex-award-winner-lepidopterist-mounting-a-tough-skinned-insect/

Gone but not forgotten

Good morning, y'all. I'm a little late with my post on World AIDS Day, but it's a cause near and dear to my heart so I wanted to post a red ribbon on my blog for my wonderful friend who passed away three years ago due to a lung infection caused by AIDS.

He was the brightest star in my galaxy, self-proclaimed vice-president of serendipities and the most joyful person I've every known. Thank you, my friend, for being part of my life for nine years. Thank you for introducing me to the Finnish beverage glögg, though the hangover almost killed me. Thank you for always paying for the drinks, even when you didn't have to. Thank you for trying to steer me away from temptation and never scolding me when I gave into it. Thank you for sharing your words with me--Belize lives forever in my heart and it's where I hope you're spending eternity. You are loved and you are missed.

Namaste.

YAY! I've been pirated!

What, Cindy? Have you finally lost your tenuous grip on sanity? No, I haven't. I'm still hanging on by a thread ;) But--in a way--I was happy to find my book on a pirate site. Yes, I'm really annoyed someone chose to undercut me and my publisher. Yes, I think piracy of any kind (except the Captain Jack Sparrow persuasion) is deplorable. And yes, I really hope folks will pay the buck fifty to download it here: http://www.jasminejade.com/ps-8822-138-leap.aspx instead of paying for membership to a pirate site so they can steal as many books as they want. BUT...I'm also kinda flattered. I mean I've been working for years to get my work noticed and hey, this is a sign that I've been noticed, right? When all is said and done, people are people. Most people do the right thing and those who don't aren't worth my sweat. Is giving myself an ulcer over the lost sales going to change the fact that these sites are an unsavory part of modern life? No. Is hollering and screaming going to make me feel better? Well, maybe a little, but mostly no. So, I choose to look at the positive side of the situation--I've been pirated therefore I must be worth ripping off. As I told a good friend on Facebook: It's either laugh or cry. I choose laughter.

The "P" Word

Yeah, you know which one I'm talking about--slang for the female sex organ, the one that also mean "kitty cat". I was working on a manuscript yesterday and I needed to reference the heroine's lady parts. I found myself stuck, groping for the right word. Now, I'm not adverse to using the "P" word, but for me, it's just not a romantic word and I'm working on a romantic sex scene. What to do, what to do? Sure, there are lots of words for the various parts of a woman's nether regions and plenty of euphemisms--chocha and hoo hoo being among my favorites, but euphemisms and metaphors just sound silly. So really there are only two viable options for the complete package: the not-so-nice "P" word and the more controversial "C" word. Yep, the "C" word is another blog topic all together, lol.

While I make my decision regarding my word usage, I thought I'd put the topic out there for readers and other authors. How do y'all feel about the "P" word? Are you okay with it? Love it, hate it? Use it liberally or shy away from it? Does it matter the context in which it's used--okay for erotica, not okay for romance?  Is there another term you prefer? Inquiring minds want to know.