Ellora's Cave. But more than excited, I'm nervous. But this being my twenty-first published work, it's been a while since I've been nervous about a release. Why the case of nerves, you ask? It's the subject matter of this book that has me a little anxious.
RAVISH ME deals with the world of noncon role play--not familiar with it? It's a fantasy in which one partner pretends to force or coerce the other partner into sex. When I first learned of this type of role play, I was a bit shocked (and that's hard to do), but a close friend of mine told me about his participation and based in his stories alone, I had to find out more. For the sake of his privacy, we'll call him Matthew, just as I named in the book.
First, let me state for the record that there is nothing I find arousing about sexual assault. It is a despicable crime that robs its victims of their power and self-esteem. But interestingly enough, Matthew--being a victim of assault himself--told me that noncon role play can be used as a tool by sexual assault and sexual abuse survivors as a way of reclaiming their power. I was surprised by that too.
There are many other reasons people engage in noncon role play. For some, it's the adrenaline rush. For others, it's the feeling that they are so attractive their partner couldn't control himself/herself. For many women, it's the loss of control, pretending that they didn't have a choice to engage in sexual activity that frees them from societal constraints and allows them to more fully enjoy a sexual encounter. After all, we live in a society that still says, "Good girls don't." Ravishment fantasy may help a woman who's bought into this mindset make believe she wasn't responsible for the pleasure being forced upon her.
Whatever the reason, noncon role play seems to me a richer and more complex expression of sexuality and passion than I ever imagined at first which means as a writer, I just had to find out more, more, more. And once Matthew was kind enough to lay bare his deepest, darkest secrets and fantasies for me, I had to share this journey with others.
So now I'll go back to chewing my fingernails and awaiting a reaction to my book. But I figure if I'm nervous about the release, I've created something that's really important to me and that taps into a well of emotion. I can't imagine a better place for a work of fiction to come from.